I don’t know about you, but I spend a lot of time thinking about what life will be like when I’m old. Perhaps it’s more acute at the moment after having visited both my grandmothers and R’s grandmother over the holidays. Perhaps it’s because, at the moment, R and I aren’t planning on having children, and I wonder who will look after us when we are too old to look after ourselves. (Stay tuned for my new retirement home idea, where we contract with friendly 50-somethings to act as our surrogate children, with a lawyer and accountant on retainer! Spaces limited, sign up soon.)
So far, each year of my life has been better than the last – life has become both more spacious and more settled. I wouldn’t rewind the clocks. But it seems there is a time when your world might begin to get smaller, more closed in, and you look back with nostalgia on ‘better days’. When you lose your independence and rely on others to help you through your days. I have to say, this thought doesn’t appeal to me at the moment. I look forward to my 50s and 60s with joyful anticipation, but not so much my 70s and 80s, which is why I’ve been looking for sources of inspiration who are living rich, full lives well into their later years.
One such source of inspiration is Jane Goodall. My sister gave me her book The Book of Hope for Christmas, and I have been in awe of how much energy she has at the age of 87 (and how adept she is on Zoom!) I’d like to be like Jane when I’m old – pursuing work that gives me meaning, learning from younger people, and keeping up with technology (can’t even imagine what tech will be like at that time – maybe I’ll have a robot carer).
Another source of inspiration is Mary Oliver, whose poem “When Death Comes” has been in my mind for the past month. Like her, when my life is over, I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I want to be able to say I have truly lived, ‘taking the world into my arms’. It strikes me that aging well requires a mindset of curiosity and constant amazement, which we should be practicing every day, starting now. I hope this poem brings you some comfort or inspiration if, like me, you are a bit preoccupied by the subject.
